A Delta Gamma executive board member at the University of Maryland loses her marbles in an explicit diatribe directed at her less socially apt sisters… And the Internet ROFLs.
Some of my personal highlights:
“If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Julia, I’ve been having so much fun with my sisters this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to f*cking find you on campus to do it myself.”
“Are you people f*cking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore night time events.”
“”But Julia!”, you say in a whiny little b*tch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, “I’ve been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn’t that count for something?” NO YOU STUPID F*CKING ASS HATS, IT F*CKING DOESN’T.”
“”Ohhh Julia, I’m now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad”. Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you’re a weird sh*t that does weird sh*t during the day, this following message is for you: DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT’S EVENT.”
“Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER.”
Honestly, though, you should just read the thing in its profane entirety.
>> The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read <<
An article about a professor in UCLA who let his students cheat on their final exam in order to learn the ins and outs of Game Theory. I don’t necessarily agree with what this article qualifies as cheating since many professors these days let their students take open book and take home tests as exams. Nevertheless it’s interesting to see the thought process of this professor and the approach his students have taken.
>> Why I Let My Students Cheat On Their Game Theory Exam <<
Worried about accidentally hooking up with someone related to you? Well if you live in Iceland, you no longer have to!
>> In Iceland, an App to Warn If Your Hookup Is a Relative <<
Don’t think the heading describes you? Go to the site below, input your salary and see how your wealth compares to the rest of the world.
>> Global Rich List <<
In the 19th century, feminism was fairly easily defined. Put broadly, it was the movement away from corsets and other restricting clothing and towards voting rights. In the 20th century, feminists rallied against prescribed gender roles and lobbied for gender equality in the home and workplace. The constant and overriding theme, however, was the promotion of blurred gender roles.
Today, feminism has a much more fragmented definition. While some feminists still assert that women should be treated the same as men (often citing salary differences), others insist that society should be more conscious of the differences between men and women and allow women to pursue their feminine inclinations (such as housewivery and motherhood) without disdain. I’m going to call this fragmented feminism post-feminism. So take a look at the articles below and ask yourself: what do you think is post-feminism?
>> The Feminist Housewife <<
“Feminists who say they’re having it all—by choosing to stay home.”
>> Why Women Still Can’t Have It All <<
Anne-Marie Slaughter, Princeton professor and first woman director of policy planning in the State Department, explains her decision to give up her post for her children.
>> Susan Patton’s ‘Daily Princetonian’ Article Urges Female Students To Find Husbands Before Graduating <<
Susan Patton, Princeton alumnus, encourages current students to find their husbands before it’s too late, citing her own failed marriage as evidence. Internet backlash ensues.
>> Susan Patton Told the Truth <<
A male journalist at the Wall St. Journal affirms that it is necessary for women to find their husbands as soon as possible.
I’ve heard of Mean Girls but Mean Babies..this is a first. This article talks about a study where they found that babies prefer people who are mean to those who are different from them. Have a look.
>> Babies Display Schadenfreude Toward People Who Are Different <<
For those of you who have ever uttered that phrase in your life, or have felt the overwhelming desire to chuck that fuzzy little hamster as hard as you can against the wall, this article is for you. As it turns out, you’re not alone!
>> Why do we want to squeeze cute things? <<
After reading that if you want to test out just how aggressive you feel when looking at something cute, check out this article:
>> 27 chow-chow puppies who are too fluffy for their own good <<
>> David Foster Wallace, In His Own Words <<
Among the usual crowd of soaring commencement speeches, David Foster Wallace’s address to the Kenyon College class of 2005 stands out in its grim insistence in examining reality as it is. It’s a somewhat dense read – as much of his work tends to be – but, ultimately, rewarding.
This address reminds me a lot of the NY Times article I posted a month or so ago about the secret to success (awareness). Foster Wallace similarly says that the key to living triumphantly is constantly being aware of the world outside the context of you. He draws on a cute allegory where two young fish are swimming down a river. An older fish – going in the opposite direction – nods at them and says, “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” The two parties pass. Down the river, the young fish look at themselves and ask, “What the hell is water?”
So much of what we do and where we are has been determined for us. The point of Foster Wallace’s address is not to encourage grads to anarchy and to oppose convention, just because it seems like an imposition. He argues that the world does not – as we sometimes like to think – exist just to hinder us. It is just the state we’re in by default, just as fish exist in water. The point is not to escape the water, but to realize that it exists and to reconfigure your understanding of your life around this necessary constraint. Awareness is the stepping stone to living decisively!
>> Why Girls Make Up Names for the Guys They Date <<
The author poses that girls nickname guys in order to distance themselves to curtail future emotional trauma when said guys (inevitably) transition out of their lives. It’s a conveniently philosophical argument, but I’m not really buying it. I know that I’ve employed nicknames, because names like “John” and “Matt” are so generic that it’s easy to confuse them with the 10 other Johns and Matts we collectively know.
This brings us to the next article, which argues why nicknames given to girls by guys tend to be more offensive. Guys nickname to dispel confusion. No one’s going to forget “Puke Girl” and the accompanying story he invariably included in her description. The author also mentions the fact that guys nickname to make funny stories funnier.
>> Why ‘Hot Gym Girl’ Is a Grosser Nickname Than ‘Hot Gym Guy’ <<
But I have another proposition: guys’ nicknames for girls are more offensive, because they overwhelmingly reference appearance. And “Duckbilled Platypus” (a girl who resembles said animal) is definitely meaner than “Laundry Boy” (guy you first met at dry cleaners). It’s just a fact of life that men place more stock in a female’s appearance than do women in a male’s appearance. But at the same time, women care a lot about their own appearance, too. It’s just this cycle of women feeling insecure about how they look and men being brutal/unforgiving about that same thing. Men’s nicknames for women are more hurtful, because they target insecurities women probably already have! In fact, a woman might have the same nickname among men in different social circles, just because of her distinct appearance – i.e. Horse Face. Don’t lie. You know one.
>> 27 Science Fictions That Became Science Facts in 2012 <<
From invisibility cloaks to spray-on skin to robotic human exoskeletons, ideas once relegated to fiction are now real!
2012 was a good year for science.